Rash Vow
Second revisionTowards his home, in triumph, Jephthah strode:with faith and pride a soldier's broad heart leapt.His daughter sprang with love that overflowed-- played timbrels as she danced: her...
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Not bad. Pretty much my least favorite OT story.L12 and L3 have extra commas and L7 needs one after "daddy". This makes, it harder to read at least for, a punctuation fanatic like me.I think Q3 would...
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Keith: There's a lot here to be understood by the reader. A little brushing up on OT is okay ( your intent?) but it needs to tell a story on its own. (I think.)If we had a hint as to the why behind...
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Zeke,Thanks for commenting and the pointers on punctuation. That is always a problem for me who naturally uses inversions in everyday speech and am never quite sure what does or doesn't qualify as...
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Keith: I take your point, I've done the same with no regret.It's a fine line and one we all weigh given our allotment of lines. I, for one attempt to have motive contained within the poem. Googling is...
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Here's Stephen Scaer's take on this subject:p197.ezboard.com/fthesonn...3462.topicBest regards,David
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Keith,I enjoyed your sonnet. Don't attempt to imitate anyone else.Cheers,Mark
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David,Thank you for posting the link here for anyone interested. I had initially hoped to avoid direct comparison because I thought the poems were different enough fo it not to be a useful execrcise....
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